Broken
by Duo Maxwell DS L2
Summary: Duo struggles with his past and present. How will he handle his secrets being discovered? 2x4/4x2


The mission was a success; they'd stolen the vital data, avoided capture, and destroyed the base as planned. After hiding the gundams, the five pilots made their way to the safe house. As they walked in, Quatre smiled brightly.

"So, who's ready for a real dinner?"

Three responded with a simple nod, but the ever happy Duo smiled and put a hand on the blond boy's shoulder. "Sounds great, Quatre. It's been too long since we've had a good meal." He then turned and started walking toward the stairs, taking the end of his braid in his hands and removing the elastic band.

"Where are you going?" Heero asked, plainly.

"After all that…I need a nice hot shower," he said, unraveling the braid, his hair now falling to his knees. He shut the door behind him and turned on the water, waiting for the room to fill with steam before hoping in. The water scorched his skin, but he didn't care as he began to scrub himself so had his skin felt raw. He normally had no problem containing his darkness behind his mask of smiles…but after a mission, he couldn't control it. He scrubbed harder, unable to feel clean as the sight of blood and grime and the awful smell of…

He gasped as his mind brought him back to one of the many terrible days back on the L2 colony. He may have been very young, but that never stopped them.

"Hello young man," a smiling face approached him. "You look like you could use some food and a place to sleep for the night." The timid boy nodded. "Come with me, lad. I'll take good care of you."

He took a step back and sat on the tile floor of the shower pulling his knees up to his chest, curling into the tightest ball he could. The water raining down on him swallowed the tears that tell from his anguished cobalt eyes. He could hear himself screaming in fear and agony, feel the burn of the ropes searing and cutting his wrists, taste the man's breath as he filled him completely. This was only the first time it had happened to him.

As he sat crying, Quatre knocked on the door. "Duo…dinner's ready." Not hearing a response he turned the knob, surprised that Duo'd forgotten to lock the door. As he stepped inside, the image he saw was forever etched into his heart and memory. He wanted to marvel at the beauty of the pale boy…his chestnut hair flowing around him, the water accenting his features…but his heart was torn by the look in his eyes. Quatre couldn't help but think, _He looks like a scared, lost little boy. That's not my Duo, is it? I need to help him find his smile again._

Duo still didn't notice Quatre, even as the water stopped flowing. It wasn't until a soft towel was draped over his shoulders that his mind snapped away from the memories, his body flinching at the touch. He looked fearfully up to see a concerned Quatre staring down at him.

"Duo…are you okay?"

Still a bit dazed from the shock of being pulled from those horrifying visions, he just stared for a moment. "Qua…Quatre?"

The blond boy nodded. "Let me help you." He reached out a hand, frowning deeply when Duo flinched away from it. "I promise I won't hurt you, Duo."

A bit of clarity returning to his eyes, he took Quatre's hand and allowed the blond to help him to his room. He got dressed quickly then started towel-drying his hair. With a sigh, he grabbed his brush and turned toward Quatre. "I'm sorry you had to see me like that," he said, running the bristles through his tangled mane.

"Duo, why were you-?"

"Don't worry about it, Quatre," he said, slipping his fake smile back on. "Really, I'm okay. See?"

"But-"

"Please," a more serious look crossed his face. "I don't want to talk about it. In fact, just forget it happened…okay?"

Reluctantly, Quatre nodded. _I want to help you, Duo. I never thought someone as happy as you could harbor such pain. I want to help you heal your wounds._

"Alright," Duo smiled as he tightened the elastic loop around the end of his long braid. "Let's eat. I'm famished."

Quatre only nodded as they went downstairs and sat at the table with their three comrades. Inhaling his food to ensure he appeared normal, Duo had to fight his urge to stare at Quatre. _Of all of you, I never wanted you to see that. I never wanted you to ever see just how broken of a man I am. But what does it matter? How could someone so perfect ever love someone as messed up as me?_

* * *

Notes: This just came to me and I felt compelled to write it down. I don't know why I do this to my poor Duo, but I can't help it. I sure hope Quatre can help him. Well, I'm not sure if I should continue on this or not. Let me know what you think. Thanks. ~Duo


End file.
